I eat lipstick at night

2009-07-06T12:03:00.003-06:00

What's this? A post, by golly! This never happens and I know for a fact no one will ever see it.

So that new boy? I've been married to him for two years now. In fact, today is our anniversary.
I don't think we have any plans at all, even though I've been bringing it up for a while. Aw, well, I'm sure he has something up this sleeve.

Working for my father's company doing safety now, it's actually going really well and I'm very excited about the future.

Very excited indeed.

2006-02-06T13:06:00.000-07:00

wtf, another update for my blogs?
what could possible cause something like this!?
work and the fact that I don't really want to do any of it ~right now~.

Um, update worthy stuffs;

-New boy *swoons*, sooo excited
-don't EVER mix alchol and cold medication...EVER.

that is all.

2006-01-30T21:34:00.000-07:00

its my birthday, I can cry if I want to.

I'm not ~that~ sad, but not really all that happy.

I have a new job at Durrance doing surveying and office work. 12.50 and hour.

I get to be outside 50% of the time, I'm a happy camper.

2005-10-26T10:22:00.000-06:00

I'm taking Marilyn to the doctor, the wonderful doctor of...hell why not...OZ!

mummble mummble

2005-10-16T14:47:00.000-06:00

A-mec hasn't payed me in a month. A month!
I've spent all the money that ben lent me for this job and all the money I had saved on GAS for this bloody job.
Though I only have 3 days left of this bs. But for those three days I had to borrow money from my father for gas to get back down to Viking.

Bastards.

In other job related news; after this little car counting expedition I'm going to be *drum roll* Making coffee! hey hey, stop laughing. Their paying me 12 bucks an hour so that I don't worry about geting SARS or whatever the parasite of the day is now.
um...note; its at the university hostpital.

zerg...HATS!

2005-10-10T15:46:00.000-06:00

Work! lots!
Money! Not here!
WTF!

2005-09-27T22:30:00.000-06:00

Sometimes, as I sit in my car I wonder what it would be like for all teh feilds around me to light on fire, consuming me and everything else.

I imagnine I wouldn't like it very much if it really can down to it, though it would look splendid wouldn't it?

zoom zoom

2005-09-17T10:17:00.000-06:00

I got home last night for SubUrbs tired and sick really looking forward to going to bed and relaxing. *shakes head* How does being sick equate to having thoughts going through my head a million miles an hour about really odd stuff? I don't think I got a solid hours worth of sleep, though I do feel somewhat rested.
I had really weird dreams about new city and being shot. It just didn't make any sense.

Today;

ORIGAMI bitchasssss

We rock your socks, you just don't know it yet.
wait, origami AFTER my interveiw at Yum Foods Canada. I figure I should keep that placment open for when this car counting thing is done. *nods* I'm thinking ahead, I am.

Watches? Wallets?...Pleasure?

2005-09-12T22:47:00.000-06:00

Whats been going on?
Um...a whole lot of nothing I guess. I can't remember much, I would have to have Marilyn come by here and do a post.
Of what I do remember; there was an accident and I did emergancy response and had my athority subverted my a PMSing offduty parametic. Fucking cunt.
I've also been reading trainspotting, if you couldn't tell by my sudden swearing there.

I rode the bus for...over 5 hours today, that was sick. I hate people so much. If I didn't have music I would have to go on a murderous rampage at least 3 times a day. Probably two times in the morning...

*thinks*

Still looking for a job, ok, so I'm not looking awful hard. But I'm starting to really put nose to grindstone tonight. Marilyn doesn't have the time to do this shit for me so I'm actually going to have to navigate these crazy job sites myself.

I'm going to go and...do that.

2005-09-03T12:55:00.000-06:00

I'm happy cause my car is all washed and looking good, which is nice for me. No more egg and pizza for me!

Today is going to be a perfectly fucking normal day, do you hear me?
we're going to take pictures and go shopping and its going to be nice
god-damb-it

*happyhappyhappy*

2005-09-01T17:11:00.000-06:00

I got my very first filling today. It didn't hurt at all, the only part I didn't like was that my lip was numb for a while there and I looked like a stroke victim.

So that was exciting.

I should go back to work...and work.

more later.

ow...

2005-08-28T12:22:00.000-06:00

I think i buggered up my neck a little bit last night, which isn't good at all because that means I'm going to seem a little bit more lathargic and therefore give sandra a reason to be angry with me. *doom*

*sigh*
so many pretty nice boys, so little time or inclination to do anything about it.
maybe if I'm not so bloody tired next saturday, depending on whats going on.

There's more to say, but I'm tired now...so perhaps I will come back and say it later.

The dislocated SPINE!

2005-08-26T10:30:00.000-06:00

I need to find a new job.
On one hand Carlton isn't giving me any hours because they think I already have another job (what?).
On the other Sandra, at headcase, is CALLING ME AT HOME to bitch about me leaving the stapler on the counter. *shakes head* seriously? cuz I don't need that shit.
SO, I'm looking into some data entry positions, some reception positions. I'm aiming for an income from 12 to 15 an hour. I need to save for school and what not so that would really help. Getting paid seven bucks an hour just doesn't cut it. It pays for gas, food and a few minor incidentals. I need to get my car fixed, I can't afford to have a shitty job.

So, throw that stress on me and I have all the reason in the world to be able to legitimitly freakout, but I haven't. So thats good. Nervous energy is keeping me going for a lot of the time here, might not be sooo healthy, but I'm sure that there are marketing executive that live off of stress and don't have a heart attack until their at LEAST 30. I should be fine.

I need to go, and get ready for the doom that is work.
*dance dance*

O, speaking of which,we have the option for fire, or dancing tonight. I wonder which would be better. Espechially after my little realization about paul. *goes to her thinking spot* I'm sure it will come to me.

wheee ooo

2005-08-01T22:34:00.000-06:00

Haven't been up to much at all...well thats kind of a lie but I honestly couldn't tell you what I've been up to because frankly I can't remember.

I now what I have to do tommorow though;
-get up
-pay bens traffic tickets
-go to my dental appointment
-go to headcase and grab my check
-cash check
-go to Carlton and work for 4 hours

Its a busy day...

*explodes into confettee*

fucking spelling...

A-HA!

2005-07-22T17:38:00.000-06:00

I've done it!
Figured it out!

I'll nap with the door to the offic closed but the store door open so when people come up the hall way I can hear them jump up and come out of the office!

I'm so devious

I'm just so tired

2005-07-22T16:58:00.000-06:00

I need to sleep, for at least 6 hours, though my body is craving 12. All this work and going out to other peoples places has worn me right out and there's still saturday to contend with, and then sunday at the hat store, and monday->wendsday at carlton moving boxes around. I'm going to die a horrible death. One that involves face planting into a sufficating puddle of mud, something along those lines.

I need to change my diet so I don't get sick again. No more candy and junk food, I need to eat good stuff when I do decide to eat. Give my body something to work with. *nods* It all sounds good in theory, but my little busrts of being able to get over how much I detest food might not last long enough for me to actually make any.

I'm going to go back to 'work' now and wait for the second of the two people that will probably come up tonight. Its dead.

Mission; MEAT

2005-07-20T11:46:00.000-06:00

You heard me.

The mission for today is to steal as much meat from my house as humanly possible and take it to helix.
ewww meat.

I don't think my father will notice and if he does I'll point out that I don't eat anything here and that he should be happy that I decided to 'eat' meat again.

wheeeeoooo
I need more fabric.

Something I've never done

2005-07-12T18:25:00.000-06:00

I'm going though ever letter and note I've received since grade 10.
Dude, we were so bloody lame.
If any individual attending grade 11 ever tryes to tell me that their mature again I'm going to laugh in their face.

I wish I was water and that I could flow over and around any obsticles in my life. I think that maybe that would be easier.

ow

2005-07-07T00:41:00.000-06:00

my bones hurt.

mother f*cker

2005-07-06T01:10:00.000-06:00

I'm more than a little bit pissed, honestly.
Because life just keeps on sucking for us, at every turn it all fucking sucks.
this is not a rant for this blog, so I shall leave it at the little bit of story that this one needs;

Marilyns car was stolen tonight, with all of our stuff in it. She lost all of her cd's and her diskman along with some misc. stuff. I lost my diskman a cd and one of Ben's books.

Doom on all you bloody theives.

But now who am I going to play wiff?

2005-07-04T00:05:00.000-06:00

Ben is officially gone to Spain.
I'm a lot sadder than I thought I would be, seeing as for some strange reason I didn't compute the part of this where him being in spain would involve him leaving for two months and me not being able to see him.

Some times I question my inteligence.

fucking spelling.

hu.

2005-06-29T22:59:00.000-06:00

I seem to have developed the ability to go the speed limit without thinking about it, how handy.

I'm so paraniod right now...mentally it almost seems easier to hang myself from my light then to keep looking over my shoulder.
But then I think about who would find me.
I would feel so bad.

Its sad

2005-06-26T17:44:00.000-06:00

Ever day when I leave for work I tense up and find my mind fixated on what their going to yell at me about that day. Seriously, not a day goes by that I don't do something wrong. Or rather, not perfect.
I'm deathly afraid of being scolded or yelled at.
And it happens everyday I go to work.
Funny though, both my bosses say that I'm the best employee they have ever had and that they would like me to stay on for a very long time
Kathleen wants me to become the assistant manager.

Some of the things that I want to remember

2005-06-26T16:38:00.000-06:00

I want to remember that I hated it when I started working 8 hour days, and that when my kid come home tired and grumpy I shouldn't yell at them.

I want to remember just how it felt lying on the uncut grass every spring reading a book, before all the bugs and before the sharp leftovers of grass clipping dug into my elbows.

I want to remember picking animals out of the clouds while the smell of the lilac bushes above us waffed over our heads.

I want to remember picking raspberrys and having to run away from the canes because of mice and bees.

I want to remember Smokey and Mr.M winding their way through those canes, happy to keep you company on a hot summers day as you worked.

I want to remember sleading and hitting a little sappling that wouldn't give up, flipping the slead and sending us all down the hill head over heals.

I want to remember swimming in the swamp and winding garder snakes through my hair, stealing the malard egg only to have it blow off the deck and smashed to bits on the cement.

I want to remember tracking moose in the bush, making my brother eat dear pellets because they looked like chocolate.

I want to remember finding the only horse that would let me ride her bareback dead in the snow, and how she looked rotting in the spring, all blotted with maggots crawling out of her eye soccets.

I could go on like this all afternoon and recount my entire childhood, but I would rather not.

perhaps tommorow.

...I don't ever know

2005-06-26T14:29:00.000-06:00

Why do almost all the guys that come in here feel the need to justify them selves to me. Another perfect example of this just walked out the door.
Comes in eyes me up, grins starts talking and then realizes two things;
1)I'm really not intrested
2)shit...my wife/girlfriend/signifigant other is downstairs/exists

I honest to god don't understand any of it.
I don't understand why they start to talk to me they way they do. I'm actually, really and truely, not pretty, not hot and not worth their attenchion.
I don't understand how they honestly forget about that other person. Or how they think that their breaking my heart when they tell me that they have this other person around, thinking that they've been leading on this girl that is so obviously bored with the conversation.

late mornings and never ending nights

2005-06-23T14:19:00.000-06:00

I love it all so much. So nice and safe.
But I get such flack for it.
Honesly, I find it kind of funny that the person who is 'spossed' to know me best hasn't figured out yet that I'm pretty absent minded and not inclined ot remember only marginaly immportant things.

Anywho, I shall be heading off to Red Deer for an undecided amount of time with some people
It'll be good.

But right now I have to go to work

good bye all

Note to self;

2005-06-21T11:32:00.000-06:00

When a pair of pants has been in the dryer for any length of time they sould be considered dangerous. Case in point; 'mmmmm warm pants they feel so good on my legs...but wait, they burn me...They BURN me!!' See all those little peices of metal that help to hold these thing together also seem to get rather warm in the dryer.

ouchys...

Crazy...

2005-06-16T20:39:00.000-06:00

This lady just came in and she was absolutly insane, like a younger version of a very distressed Pat. I tryed so hard to be nice and the like but it waslike she was on crack, you just could do anything right. One minute she loved something the next her hated it and couldn't go near it. By the end of it she went on about she must be getting sick with some sort of throught infection. I stopped breathing. Honestly, I don't wanna get sick, maybe that makes me the crazy one, but I didn't breath again until she had left, and I was in the office where I guess I preceive the 'clean' air to be.

I get to close up in about 20 minutes here, which is nice because its been just so darn slow. Though I did get to read through my new GQ and talk to Marilyn Ben and Kevkev. So I guess you can consider that productive.

Its going to be so nice, I'm going to go home and go to sleep. I'm addicted to sleep. Or at least not being awake.

I'm excited about Friday and Saturday, its going to be fun. Ahhh, music and dancing. How I love it all.
I need to figure out what I'm going to wear.
Damb Kathleen and makingme work for 4 freaking hours on saturday.
*wiggles wrist in her general direction*

work-work-work-work-work

2005-06-14T23:30:00.000-06:00

DAY OFF BITCHES!

Thats right, I get tommorow off. A wendsday...woohoo.
yeah, ok so thats not all that exciting.

I need something to do
I'm so bored
perhaps I shall just sleep the time away until I have something to do

I so didn't think about this...

Ear widgets of doom!

2005-06-13T11:28:00.000-06:00

They infect me and use my mouth to spew their non-sensical&lude statments.
Example;
Saturday working at Carlton;
I see a lady come in from the neigbhoring Shoppers, the thought that went through my head was 'ah, she hit the shoppers'. I approch her all ready to relay this to her but what comes out is; 'I see you shit...' I had to stop. *laughs* It was brilliant. Almost as good as asking an officer if he had any hash on him when I was working at Sobeys.

I'm just so...

2005-06-10T18:38:00.000-06:00

down...
I don't know if its the Ad-busters thats making me feel so bad about myself and my rampant consumerism. Maybe thats part of it but really I'm pretty sure its not just the horrible one sided magazine warping my mind.

Its so weird though. Its a perfectly nice day. I love the rain and the fact that I can actually open my eyes up without fear of the burn brought on by too much light that often greats any attemps at such a thing on a 'normaly' sunny day. People are being nice. And only a couple of extreamly remote deaths to report.

Well now I'm actually down. It seems like everyone I know is giving up on the whole idea of university. My ever present fear that I'm going to live in a shit hole apartment, pay cheuqe to pay cheuqe springs up again and I am deathly afraid to take another step in any direction.
I need dennys.

This is what I think of!?

2005-06-10T11:25:00.000-06:00

You know that time right before you actually wake up but your still vividly dreaming? I'm pretty sure thats the time that none of your dreams make any sense.

So 'we're' happily floating along on some boat and all of a sudden it flips over. I'm pretty sure there was about 30seconds os storm before that happened but still. The only thought that went through my head was...crap I have mail that I haven't sent yet...how will it get to those people now!? So in all the excitment of drowning I search around for a Ziploc bag to put them in so they wouldn't get wet...makes sense right? I mean its not like I'm not already water or anything, which I was. But it had to be ziploc not glad because they have the clinging inner layer. What did I think that ocean was going to freeze over the moment I died?

*shakes head*
I'm pretty sure I've been brain washed by ziploc commerchials if it makes perfect sense in my dreams to go look for a ziploc bag instead of trying to swim away from a wreak.

I L-O-V-E this band!

2005-06-10T00:37:00.000-06:00

Its probably one of those things that I'll fall out of love with in a few weeks but right now I'm obsessed with MSI

Never heard of them?
Hit your perfered downloading program and pick up a few songs.
Its well worth it.

Work

2005-06-09T18:09:00.000-06:00

Look at me! I'm such a slacker!!

Really there is nothing left to do here and there isn't anybody around anyway so no matter.

Today is such a slack day, the only really productive thing I've done is sweeping...both at home and here. And that doesn't say much. Though I do find it intresting just how dirty it can get at my house in a matter of days crum wise.

So, yes. I wish I had some news or some intresting story.
O wait I guess I do. And suprise suprise it isn't me bitching about the whole moving thing...and yet it totally just snuck in there didn't it? Any-how, there was this crazy drunk indian guy wandering down whyte ave today, alright I'll admit it so far this doesn't sound very out of the ordinary but really this is strange. He approched two gentalmen sitting at one of the tables out side of starbucks and started yelling at them in that slurred way that drunk people do but we all gathered after about a minute of his rambling that he wanted their change. The guy that works at the starbucks, and by the way the only one that doesn't make you buy anything before letting you use the restroom, came out, puffed up his chest like any heterguy would do and 'politley' asked him to leave. I had to laugh. though I was concerned that our drunk friend would turn at him and try to shove the tennis ball that he was holding down his throught. No such luck for all the people that love drama out there, he just left...almost. As he walked away he spotted the perfect pray. I swear to god a living hobbit. Short, curly dirty blond hair, wearing all natural tones and merrily wandering down the street living hobbit. The poor thing didn't know what hit his when Mr.Drunk decided that he didn't want t he change of the gentalmen acosted earlier he wanted not only the change but ANY money that this man was carrying. Mr. Starbucks was right pissed off with this change in events and calle din for the cops to be called. Really though, our friendly neighborhoor hobbit some how managed to sqeeze past Mr.Drunk and trot off before anymore damage could be done as he was left wondering where he went for a good 30 seconds.

Ah, its a shitty story but I'm bored so...tada!

2005-06-09T00:43:00.000-06:00

What else is there to say?

I'm moving and I fucking hate it

The rage that is inside me could...well lets just say that tuna wouldn't do it all justice.

Just try and make sense of that buck-o

I'm going to go burst into grain.
Its so bad I'm stealing other peoples brilliant statments.

It really is...

2005-05-27T13:08:00.000-06:00

a beautiful day today.
All green and blue. I dread going into the city to run my arrends and do my job.
Although, I am excited for today planned purchaces;

-bus pass for next month (ok so I'm not that enthused about this one)
-Two new movies that I've been oogling on the HMV shelves which are now on for 2 for $30; Big fish and Eternal sunshine on a spotless mind.
-A single bar of Strawberry soap from the Body Shop

I think that if this is all it takes to make me really happy, happy enough that it out weighs just how much i loath the grey of the city, I need a new hobby.

ooo ooo speaking of hobbies! I went back to Wee book and found that they really are trying to get rid of their comics. They lowered the price to 10 comics for a dollar. Isn't that nuts? AND a lady that came into the hat shop yesterday offered to buy my envelopes. I'm kinda attached to them so I said no but she might come back with an idea or two.

Plans that are keeping me going and uber excited;
-getting lip peirced(maybe with marilyn and eric *glee*)
-getting ben a puppy/dog
-starting to put together a business plan for my little adventure

I'm going to go run around super happy now...I think the fact that I'm wearing all black is also contributing to this.

Its very complicated

2005-05-24T11:20:00.000-06:00

My father now wants me to go and get a degree in comerce...I didn't see him do that before he when and started his now thriving business.

I'll see what I can do with this idea. There are just so many facets.

I also have to chance to work up at Sincrude for the rest of the summer making $15 an hour mixing mud for fire proofing. I can't do it though. I couldn't just leave Sandra high and dry like that. Or maybe I'm jsut compleatly selfish and don't want to work mixing mud...I really don't know.

I have some good soup I have to eat before I go to work.
I think I'll go and get that done
it amusses me that eating has become a chore.
unless there's seasoned fries and hiney mustard dipping sauces involved that is

look at me...

2005-05-24T00:30:00.000-06:00

I might just be starting my own business. I actually really want to and it all sounds so very plausable to me.

*is tired*

I have to work in 12 hours, I'm sure I'll be able to muster more reasonable and sensable thoughts tommorow...

so long for now, I shall explain later

So exhausted

2005-05-22T21:44:00.000-06:00

I would have liked to stay longer to see what was to happen with our new tiger stripped boy and girl of many stories. But I'm sure that I shall find out sooner rather than later form my very talkative blue bird.

Last night was insane. Brad owes me one. But really Chad is taking care of that for him because he is SO paying for any 3 of us to get into New City for the next month. No question.

My father really didn't have anything to say once I had told him the story...I knew it wasn't a big deal. He just likes to make Ben feel like he has something to prove.

I feel bad that I didn't do anything for/with Marty for his birthday, but really its not my fault that he never showed up at the burbs.

I really do want to decorate some of the bags at work...I'm going to ask Sandra if I'm allowed...wouldn't it be just so neat if you got your hat in a bag with a bunch of pictures pasted to it? It would certainly give me something to do for those long stints where no one comes in...

Its sad that I can't write or even read anymore. I find my self sitting staring out into space with a million thoughts swirling around and no way of expressing them.

Any-who, I should be going to bed. I have to work tommorrow.

whee

...thats too bad

2005-05-19T00:25:00.000-06:00

Star Wars Horoscope for Aquarius

You can be cruel and torment people who disagree with you.
Deep down, there is a peace-loving, friendly side to you.
You have a knack for inflicting pain on people and use your intellect during battle.

Star wars character you are most like: Darth Vader

What is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

Busy busy

2005-05-18T01:21:00.000-06:00

Today was so busy, but honestly so rewarding.

I went to work at 9 to help Kathleen get ready for some big head honcho to come and visit. Packed up all the broken glass from there with the intention of taking it to the recycling place but forgetting in the end. Going to Headcase and picking up my check, cashing it (mostly) and getting some paintings I had had my eye on for some time, a prezzie for Marilyn, my brother and Keven. Head back to Headcase for Ben's photo shoot, work there for 2 and a half hours. Leave from there to deliver prezzies. Pick up my car and Kevvie, go to St.Albert and hang around with Eric. Come back, pick up brother, drop of his friend and Keven. Go home. Die.

That was fun!
Let's do that again!

well would you look at that

2005-05-05T13:58:00.000-06:00

I'm just waiting to be struck by lightning

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

BLASTFEMER!

did you know that...

2005-05-05T02:00:00.000-06:00

cats have hundreds of vocal cords?

or that on average there are 18 acers of pizza eaten in the states every day

or that a hummbing birl weights less than a penny?

didn't think so.

Don't mind the spelling, its really late and I'm trying to kill time.

so busy, makes me head hurt

2005-05-02T12:31:00.000-06:00

Bah, this week is kinda nuts...

I work everyday and on tuesday I work at two carlton card locations. *shots self*

Two jobs sounded like a good idea at the start of it all it just seems a little crazy right now. I'm sure it'll be better once I get used to it and get a few days off...*nods*
I hope so.

The sad thing is that Ben works all day every of the weekday and I work almost every evening every single day. Crazyness...

I should be off, I don't wanna be late, my crazy boss would be mad.

EAR WIDGETS!

2005-04-26T11:08:00.000-06:00

tests they stress me out
though I'm not stressing as much as I should be, *pats head* good little brain and your powers of repression...

This summer is going to rock! And why you say? Because I say so damb it!

thats right...
why aren't you cowering yet?

I kid I kid

blah blah blah

2005-04-01T07:02:00.000-07:00

So, its april fools. If I was wittyier or briter I would think of something to say or do to make it an unforgetable one. But as things stand I am neither of those things. Even if I was though, I'm sure whatever I might think up would go against a book full of laws and societal taboos that I would be sure to get in a shit load of trouble. April fools has lost its...mogo. Thats right. Some one stole the spirit of the fools.

drat.

What feels weird?

2005-03-20T15:45:00.000-07:00

raw chicken
that gooy glue they use to adhear cards to things
earth worms trying to get away
a cats tounge on you toes

but what feels weird for me right now is having coagulated blood in the back of my throat.

ewww...

Too late

2005-03-16T00:08:00.000-07:00

I'm dog sick
and now I have an eye infection
yay...really I'm having fun here...honest

The past 2 days seem like its been a week, I wonder how much I could get done if the whole week is like this. And how tiering it will get.

Stupid lab reports
I hates's them
but I must finish them anyway
back to my appendix, ewwww

Sicks

2005-03-14T22:04:00.000-07:00

Ever so sick
crappers, this is no fun
and the worse week for it too
I have lab reports that have to get done and new jobs to start
thats right, you heard it hear...4th here folks, heh, I am now an 'honest' employee of Carlton Cards. $5.90 an hour and an odd odd boss. But hey a job is a job right?
I'm also looking forward to becoming a full on guinee pig, which I don't mind since its earning me $250 just to sit in an MRI for a while...

So thats the news as I know it
and I'm going to bed now to try and get better

Happy Music

2005-02-27T18:40:00.000-07:00

Listen to that and nothing really matters anymore. So really, enough of The Strokes and The Shins cure anything.

Baked more than I should have, so much that my father actually yelled at me for the copious amout of baked goods that now sit on the counter. I never thought there would be a day were he would turn down a cookie but it seems that he thinks he's to heavy and needs to loose a few, his arch-nemisis the cookie is the one being blamed...

My wish for today is that my dambed brother would vacume so that I could finally get around to washing the floors. Now, how often do you hear of someone asking to wash the floors? Not very often eh? Well, its not just cuz I'm a bit of a clean freak, but seriously they haven't been washed for 3 weeks and its getting gross, all he has to do is vacume. Instead all he does is sit on his ever growing ass and play video games. Damb him...strait to a very dirty circle of hell.

I have a load of letters all written and itching to be sent, I just keep on forgetting to put the darn things in envelopes. Rats on me.

I have to get some motivation. Some real motivation. If I don't get soem soon I'm fucked. And how much would that suck.
I need to get a job
I need to figure out if I'm taking a year off
I need to stop being so fucking stupid
I need to work-out

*thud*

*is a little ball of stress ever since she found out what her marks were*

ewww, sticky!

2005-02-20T11:52:00.000-07:00

Last night Ben, Marty and I went out to the Roost. He wanted to meet some guy there which is fine, but being a smart little boy he brought us along, even though I ended up paying all the cover. So he went off "dancing" (poor little android boy) and Ben and I people watched. Really I had wanted to dance but Ben wasn't in the mood so we didn't. I don't think it really mattered though as it wasn't crowded enough and the music was horrible. They have a house vocalist but all she does is ruin the songs, I kind of wanted to bitch slap her but I figured i might get thrown out for that.

The atmosphere is thick with drugs and sex, the people are dirty and crude. That, right there, is the scum of a population gathered in one place. And I’m not saying that to be all anti-queer, cuz as it stands Buddy’s is my favorite place to dance and that’s another gay bar. But....ewwww man, i mean there was water leaking along one of the walls and your hand comes back with a stick film, no matter what you touch.

I have come to the conclusion that the only thing its good for it pushing drugs and writing. Sit people watch, dissect and pigeon hole a population. Sounds like fun to me...

Mid-terms

2005-02-15T20:22:00.000-07:00

of doom, and horror
and that is not to say that this is the reason that I haven't been updating
No, really I've just lost all sense of self
I dont' know what I think about much
I don't know where I am or where I'm going

Its disconcerning
and it bugs me

so I leave again
perhaps I shall meet some verson of cathy, just hanging around
lets hope its a nice verson...

I'M INFECTED!!

2005-02-02T15:59:00.000-07:00

I needs to go to the doctor
thems little buggy dudes have taken over my body and I fear that they shall try and use me to carry out their evl plan for taking over the world and making everyone feel like crap.

Happy puppy kitten!

2005-01-31T10:21:00.000-07:00

I'm enthused because today is my 18th birthday
unfortunately though, I am sick, dog sick
not only that but I have class and to top it off with a razor blade covered cherry; a 3 hour lab.
I think I'm going to die

Back to birthday business;
Ben has tried so hard, and succeeded, to make this birthday one of the best. We went out to a movie on Saturday (10:20 showing which killed me but I still had fun, mostly because you can fall into the movie that much easier when your sick and very tired). On Sunday he came over nice and early, unfortunately for him I had to finish some chores so I wasn't very entertaining. We both slept for a few hours because of how exhausted we were with being sick and then he attempted to teach me how to snow board. I was doing so well! But he kept on pushing me down so I would learn how to get up...*shakes fist* The half a centimeter of ice on all the snow didn't help very much either. It was still really fun though. We went to BP's for dinner, mmmm chicken sandwich, I love that thing. Again we were sick so it was just really nice, if not exhausting.

So far though I'm really enjoying my birthday.

heh, as my birthday present to Ben I get him a band shirt and a Pink Floyd patch for his bag, bwahahaha. Presents for other people on my birthday!!
I couldn't get Marilyn much, but I donated to the groceries and I brought some stuff...

This is me pledging to eat better from now on! I don't like being sick...

alights, I done with my ramblings for now

b byes

I'm soooo dangerous

2005-01-25T10:08:00.001-07:00

Informationi

dragonfly in the sky is a restricted area. Authorised personel only

From Go-Quiz.com

I'm soooo dangerous

2005-01-25T10:08:00.000-07:00

Informationi

dragonfly in the sky is a restricted area. Authorised personel only

From Go-Quiz.com

points up at the light bulb going off above her head

2005-01-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

an idea!
how novel...

I think I know what I would like to do for my 18th!
or at least for part of it anyway
One of my more favorite artists in the whole wide world, Sarah Seline, is coming to town in March. So I asked my dad if he would get me some tickets for my birthday. I mean, its not like i'm going out to the bar or partying (there is enough time for that later), its all safe like. And he said that as long as they weren't too expencive, that yes he would.
*GLEE*
God, I hope that I can get the tickets, I would be SO enthused.
*dies...6 times*

ooo ooo and marty says that he and Jill will take me out the the gay bar...oooo shiney, legit.

A new journal

2005-01-19T20:31:00.000-07:00

Yes I know, I great surprise that I have a journal even with all of my blogs. But I do. And I have just started a new one today. The old one that I finished off this morning wiltst sitting in the transit station listening to electronica, scribbling madly. I don't know where the intense desire to finish the book at that moment came from, but I filled up 4 pages with something...

The new one is so black and plain. My favorite one, its bound with leather and inscribed with 'NOTES’ on the cover. I had intended to save it to the last one in the bunch to get written in but Ben insisted that I use it now. I know why, and it’s sweet.

Today wasn't all that exciting...did a lot of sitting and resting as we were all so tired today. Yesterday was a blast though; we went to the Outreach meeting with Marty. The topic for the evening was 'coming-out' stories. We got into some socio-political-religious talk as well so it was really fun. The coffee house afterwards really made me happy, as people seemed to like the Cathy+Marilyn team and our ability to speak in tandem at random intervals. Such good times.

Ben got hit on by this little Asian guy and handled it alright, though he didn't want to tell him that he was involved. Marty made a comment that he shouldn't be ashamed of being involved, and so now he's not afraid to say that, what a plus eh? Really though I just snickered at the whole thing.

So, yeah. Life is pretty good. I'm having fun. My mind is turning inside out a bit but eh, it’s my mind, what else is to be expected...?

Lost

2005-01-12T21:43:00.000-07:00

*holds hands up in defense*
I tried!
I tried sooo hard to get to class today, unfortunately for me I read my schedule wrong and ended up being 5 minutes late. And I don't have the sand to walk into a lecture late so, I missed my second Bio 108 class. Crap!

Any-how, having missed that I realized that Ben had a break in between his classes in the Earth Sciences building and that I could go and visit, so I set off to find him. Sure the text message said Earth Science, but that has to be the same thing as Biological Science...right? NO. You are wrong if you said yes. It is a very different building indeed.
So I wander across Quad and into the physics building because its a bone chilling -45 with wind chill and I know there is an underground passage to the 'science' building from there. I wander down the creepy staircase into the bio sci building up the stares onto the 3rd floor (where Ben said he was) and find my self in a hallway with a bunch of microbiology labs. Some lady walking down the hall calls out to me; "is that door unlocked!?", I tilt my head and raise an eyebrow..."well on that side it is..." and I keep on walking, past her, as she huffs past to pull out a bunch of keys and lock the door. I wandered around the third floor exchanging text messages with Ben about how lost I was for aver half an hour until I figure that, this is not where I'm supposed to be. So I meander down a random stair case only to find my self in the basement in another would be quartered off area where some little Chinese dude looks at me scornfully as I stare up at a ceiling covered with wires and odd pipes labeled with their hazard property’s. I promptly jump on an elevator with a rather creepy guy and get off at the ground level into a nice lobby that I some how missed on my way down to see Ben wander into the building, saving me from its evil laboratory grasp.

Note to self: the earth sciences building is NOT the creepy Bio Sci building, do not go back there unless forced to do so, and stay AWAY from the basement!

Class

2005-01-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

So I'm off, all set to attend classes and be a diligent student. I walk with purpose to quad turn to my left where my building should be and...stop. Stare at what is not ETL at all but...an environment building? This can't be right. I whip around and find the Campus information map...this is quadrant D3...but this isn’t my building. Crap crappity crap crap. On the off chance that my class is in this rather mysterious building (as all the windows are covered with plants from the inside) I 'sneak' in...though I have the feeling that it wouldn't be a problem. No, no Lec B anywhere. I ask around; 'do you know where ETL is?' 'well there is the ETLC...', I had already checked there... "do you know where I'm supposed to go?' 'you?' 'do you have my soul in a jar?' 'are you my mommy?' as you can see it would have gone down hill...

So, alas. I have missed my first class in a new term. This does not bode well for the rest of them...

It was going well...

2005-01-08T01:09:00.000-07:00

Today was an alright day because;
-it was relativaly nice out
-I got to see ben+marilyn and chad (that was all very nice)
-I had popcorn
-I ate a whole sandwich...I was hungry
-I had an orange too, that was good
-I got to talk with Amanda and Christine
-I got to see alison one more time before she leaves, that was nice

bah, I hate how one thing can overshadow a bunch of nice things...

I would scream but...there are people sleeping here...so I shall sit in silence listening to 'The Shins' hopeing they cheer me up...

New Years

2005-01-01T13:05:00.000-07:00

When your body decides that it it gravity innept and your stomch revolts against you and your bad choice, you've had too much to drink.

But really, all and all it ws a good evening. Watched Garden State and Napolinan Dynamite...Alien Ressorection too but I wasn't paying attenchion at that point.

Yeah...there where no great realizations last night exept that if you want to drink don't do it fast and when your depressed. Its a bad idea.

Have a good one folks

Yesterday

2004-12-31T19:38:00.000-07:00

was happier than what I've seen of today so I shall write about that.

um...putzed around with marilyn for the majority of the day and come 6 we were waiting for E(r). But he did not come. So I decided it was time for another grand adventure. Called up marty to see if he wanted to come...even though it seemed like we just needed a run since we had missed the last bus I had intended to call him anyway. So we go. Mostly an uneventfull trip there but on the way back we stopped by Marty's grandmothers...yes you read correctly, at 10 o-clock in the evening. His crazy uncle wasn't home, which (as marty tells it) is a plus. Eat some of her fudge and jelly beans then leave. She's funny, a little hopped up on pain killers but not bad. Go back to the traffic circle of doom (what kind of traffic circle ahs Lights in it for christ's sake!?) and take the right exit, make it back to lister in one peice. hang out a bit and then leave with marty. Go on an imprompt-to tea trip to martys. see the new shiny desk top, talk on msn. Go over to al's at 3:30 in the morning to stand for an hour in her door way making stupid / extistenchial comments and feel like I'm floating for the majority of it. Drop Marty off back at home and then go home my self. Go to sleep at 5am. And now I realize that that all isn't yesterday at all but the day before...shite I need to get my hold on time back...

Yesterday has just re-emerged in my memories, I remember now.
And honestly I don't care to write an abridged version of another day in here so...

have a good one

Christmas(-eve)

2004-12-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

Is...alright...I guess
If there’s boots involved
My pleasantly crazy father took me out shopping yesterday, that’s right; Christmas Eve. I guess he expected the mall to be full of 'calm' shoppers. Which surprisingly, to me anyway, it was. For the amount of cars in the parking lot you would expect there to be hoards that you had to fight your way through inside, but no, there weren’t. In fact there were very few people around...it was odd. Perhaps there is a gapping void in Chapters and all those folks buying gift-certificates for the loved ones that they don't care much about got sucked into it. If that is the case I am just happy that the great G isn't working there any longer.

Any-how, as per our usual jaunts in the mall my father saw 3 people he knows from work. Two ass' and one extremely nice young fellow. I would have patted him on the head for this remarkable likeness to a stuffed puppy if it were not for the fact that he stands almost a full foot taller than me. I think his hugs would be awesome. Any-way...I got nothing that really constitutes Christmas presents. Winter boots that I've needed for the past 3 months but my father has neglected to get for me until now. I love them though. It took the nutty Russian sales lady and I over an hour to talk him into buying them. She even gave him an 'extra' ten dollars off to remedy his pouty face. I can't really complain at all though; made in Canada, leather (made from the cows they slaughter anyway), black + laced up with a zipper on the side. I could stomp around in them all day long, which I intend to do actually. All the time I'm not on the computer I'm stomping around the house yapping about how much I love them, I think I shall get a ginger-bear to the head soon enough.

Onward to the world of...pastel bras? sick I know, but as I sifted through the mess that was La Senza I did happen to look up to be startled by the array of colors that you can now get a 'hydro-lift' bra in. *shivers* sometimes I wish I was a boy...then I stop. ooo ooo, and don't let anyone ever tell you that your too old for Pooh Bear. Every pair of my socks are now graced with his fuzzy little face...either him or one of his 'minions'. 'sept for rabbit, I hates him, can you say OCD?

Alas, I fear I have mislead you...that is if you still know what’s going on I shall have to break your stride here; I did get something that resemble Christmas prezzies. 3 movies, one came out of the three dollar bin though, so its not so bad. The Order, a movie which I am in lust over. The Rules of Attraction, can you beat this character movie? and Broken Down Palace, Marilyn said it was good so I grabbed it. I am so happy about that as well. *points at face* can you see the glee?

Side Note 1.5; where did I get the energy to do all of that in an hour and a few minutes? I have two words for you; White Moccachino. Heaven in a drink. My hands were shaking really badly by the time the sugar wore off though. Don’t you just hate coming off a sugar buzz?

An abridged version of the rest of the evening;

So we got home so I could throw myself into a frenzy to get ready for dinner at Ben’s house. Shower-run into room half naked - try to find the perfect outfit - get dressed only to realize this is not what I want to wear - start throwing clothes around just in case I have the perfect bottom to go with my gray silk shirt and…Bingo!! - long lost skirt found and ironed by father (also slipping in there while he was distracted that I was going out with Ben now) I run out the door. Drop Marilyn off at her parents. (sorry I left you for the slaughter) Late! Hurry over to Bens - don’t forget to say hello to his parents and offer help in the kitchen - apologies to Jonathan for insulting his card-board shield-that minor problem remedied relaxing bens room after picking out his out-fit (which he looked amazing in) - called down to dinner – eat - keep on eating - still eating - mmm wine+pop - drive out to see his god - daughter (cute as a button) - go back - dessert - finish wine - go ‘watch a movie up stairs’ - actually watch some of The Order - Thank the hostess for dinner - keep on getting phone calls from father that I can’t answer - sad that Ben will be gone for 5(!) days - drive home expecting check-stops but see none – home - sleep…

And it was good.

thoughts...even though this is not the place for them

2004-12-22T01:24:00.000-07:00

Well…its snowing, those nice big fat snow flakes that make you happy to see them, the ones that actually warm up the earth. But I shant get into the chemistry behind that statement because I’m sure it would be rather lame…
Friends.
What an interesting word, I find the connotations to said word even more intriguing though. What does it really mean and how many classifications can we create to organize the people we have come to call friends in too. Alas, if we were to start classifying things this post would be not only long but meticulous and therefore a waste of your infinitely valuable time. So, lets not start with that. I have a quote for this whole idea also but I won’t bother you with it. But to get back to my original point. To be a friend or to consider some one else your friend there must fulfill certain requirements. Must you feel a certain kinship towards them? Do you souls bear a little something in common? Or are you just friends of or for convenience…? (wouldn’t that be unfortunate) And does this change with time? For I am certain that people change in time, especially in this rather hectic, would be tops turvy time of…post secondary life. And if stipulation 2 is correct, that the souls are somehow threaded together, then does your soul change? Or perhaps, to soften the blow we shall say, mature? I really don’t know. All I do know, as I am cutting this argument or exploration of a human interaction down, is that all the friends I once had I still feel a bitty of companionship towards. No matter the circumstances of the ultimate separations, parting of ways. *shrugs* I’ve run out of energy to think on it.

Here's the quote anyway…can’t remember his name though;
To divide the whole is to name the new parts…there are already enough names. –Some Chinese dude.

Happy days

2004-12-13T23:08:00.000-07:00

its really odd. my life is in this hot and cold phase right now. On one side of things I am on the extream side of happy and on the other I would like nothing more than to jump off of Macenzie Tower to my human pancake death.

I'm really happy because I'm in love with a boy who says that he loves me. Because I feel safe and cared for

I'm scared and depressed because I screwed up this term at school with my inability to focus in the begining and right when I thought I had some focus back I lost it again, fucking up some of my finals. Because I'm hurting my friends and because I'm scared of so many things. But all of that is material for Cold and Sharp so I shant rant about it here

Good things going on right now;
-its warmer than the hellish -25 it was a few days ago, and yes I know that it shall get worse and colder but I like this little bitty of warmth that we have now
-I get hugs...constantly from so many people, its amazing
-I have hope for a briter tommorow, and that has driven me for a lot time, hopefully it can still drive me now
-I have people who love me...I think, and thats a nice thought to have

so thats enough light to fight back the dark
right?

LOOK! A Mongoos!!

2004-12-02T05:39:00.000-07:00

I have been awake for 24 hours, I have acheived nothing.
Awsome.

Awake

2004-12-02T02:47:00.000-07:00

Its 3 o-clock in the morning and i'm awake and happy
for some reason when it gets really late I forget that I should be sad.
I like that

On-ward to excersise....mmmm...endorphines

Project

2004-11-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

I have another project to work on and I'm looking forward to it. Another project for another day and ironically enough, to me anyway , another project for another boy. This boy is not mine and I shall never be his. He just wants my soul. Trapped in the film, on the pages that hold the pictures.
And that's ok. To me anyway.
All I can think about is that tomorrow is another day. Which means that I made it through today and that's why this is a good post, something happy because I guess that's an accomplishment.

to find something happy

2004-10-31T17:58:00.000-07:00

Something from today to write about.
but I'm having trouble
...
shit
...
does a kiss count?

b-e-n-e-d-i-c-t

2004-10-30T22:20:00.000-06:00

is handsome
is sweet
is a good kisser
is careful with me

knows more than others
knows how to make me smile
knows what makes me tick
knows how to argure a point

says I'm a pretty little girl
says that I'm sweet
says that I should live
says that I'm soft yet smooth, like silk

and I say...that although there are possible deal breakers there; I like him.
I think that he'll keep me safe for now
Even if he doen't have the a chance to see me all the time.
The reason though is something that I can't argue with; to forfill his wish. To re-wire his brain. To eat fish.
and all-though you all don't understand that, I do. And he will...

DOOM BEE'S!!

2004-10-24T11:07:00.000-06:00

horor

yeah, saturday was good times; went to west ed with keven though neither of us were very enthused and therfore it wasn't that much fun though I did see the bestest card ever at Millenuim, they have these great envelopes too. I shall have to remember to go back there when I have some money.

Done out expedition there, keven got an uber cool jacket for only $20(!), we headed over the the U to visit marilyn....and what was ment to be me dropping by to steal chad popsicle turned into a wonderful evening. It was the floor formal and somehow, it haven't really figured out how yet, they got me into a cocktail dress! Nice and black I have to admit, the heals to go with it were impossibly tall and of no substance at all but to top it all off, in a great sort of way, they were hot pink(!). so that was a blast trapsing though slush and snow in those, thank god for kevens shoulder or I would have fallen 6 times. Went to a really nice resturant, the food was amazing. Got to sit by the uber cool Chantal, and that rocked. We left early with Chantal, I mean after you eat and everyone else is just getting drunk/whinning about how they hate wearing dresses (I didn't even do that, the evening wasn't about me or how much I Hadn't shavd my legs in forever, it was about having fun with out the complaining), and that was a blast as a punk couple heard me talking about how I could make the outfit killer with a pair of hooker boots form Sanctuary and got angry at us, even going on a seperate train car when as they decided that they didn't like us/me much. No matter, I still had fun.

When back to Lister, made some uber good popcorn...of DOOM! and listened to Chantal play guitar and sing with a friend of hers. I love...love love love one of her song sooo much, it makes me cry. Which is a huge accomplishment. It reminds me so much of my friends and esspechially you Marilyn, I lurve it.

Watched a little but of Empire Records, such a good movie. But then me and Keven had to go and catch out bus, which we just made in time. It's all good.

Getting home fearign the wrath of my father for being late to find him fine with the fact that I went out but still got hime before midnight. So all is well in the land of the Cathy

DOOM!

Whyte Ave

2004-10-16T11:32:00.000-06:00

Was sooo much fun!
I got this uber cool jacket; one of those gray womens suit jackets...though I'm driven to take out the shoulder pads. How I hate them.
I should mention now that I am broke...yeah, all of this bar, well and including the sweater, that you all shall soon learn about, was bought by other people and for as much as I feel bad cuz they spent so much money on me, Marilyn adn Keven I lurve you, I LOVE all the stuff!
ok onward!
As I mentioned there is also sweater, from that uber cool story called 'Vintage', most of thier stuff isn't my style but everyonce and a while there's an awsome peice there. nice black sweater, seeing as winter is apon us...
Next too Mars and Venus, ooo the evil it rises again, anyhow; I got a MARY SHIRT! I'm not overly religious or anything, but I can't resist Mary, o-lady in blue.
um...then this neat little trinket shop and I got these awsome post cards *drools*
Then to Rowena...as I've already mentioned the jacket were keven gots me some cards. That was awsome
and this post has NO structure so I'm stopping now

Good news?

2004-09-16T20:32:00.000-06:00

Well…on the bright side of things I guess all is going well. I had planned to take a bachelor of science in nursing but after experiencing my first ‘group learning’ class I dropped that program. I’m now routed through the Bachelor of Arts and education office taking a bunch of biology courses, which is great cuz that’s what I love. I’ll transfer to the Bachelor of Science program for the winter term. I am questioning though, now, what I really enjoy. The answer; biology history and philosophy….now what the heck is a girl to do with that? Maybe I should look at becoming a teacher again. I could be one of the weird ones who has one foot in humanities and another in sciences. I really don’t know yet. I still have to see what I can do with a biology major.

I am sort of excited though because my dad gave me some money to buy books. And not textbook either! I got some more of those lesser-known but spectacular Canadian authors, and I can’t wait to read them. I shall have to put their names up at some point, I feel bad for forgetting.

But yes, I think that is enough of the good news.

Moving Day!

2004-09-03T23:48:00.000-06:00

On my Jesus! This is the most exciting thing that has ever happened in my small world. I'm so excited for Marilyn, she gets her very own room in rez!! That means I get to go a nd visit when ever I like. It's going to be great!

I really can't wait! I don't even what to sleep but I have to do chores tomorrow morning so I guess I'll have to sleep now so that I can get them done so that I might be able to help Marilyn move. Sleeping Cathy or grounded Cathy is no good

wheeee, and school is starting for me soon. I'm sad though because most everyone I know, bar Chad, is going to the U so I'm going to be all alone. It makes me sad. Though my father arranged for a consolation prize for me; I get to go swimming there! He's going to get me a year long pass and a nice regulation suit so that I can have something to do other that home work in the giant gaps between my classes since I'm going to have no friends to talk to. Yup...I think it shall work out alright. Or at least that's what I'm hoping for.

Happy

2004-08-28T11:54:00.000-06:00

I'm pretty happy today, I leave tommorow. And thats good.
We're going shopping today! I get stamps! there are very few thing that make me happier.
..maybe that jacket I saw, o-god, its amazing.
green with black inlayed leaves. calfs skin, but I can over look that. Ok so I can't and I won't be getting it.
urg, that sucks
o-well maybe I'll get a cd too, that would be nice
my grammer is getting horrid so I stop here.

Look, I'm in Banff

2004-08-25T20:57:00.000-06:00

And it hasn't stopped raining.
plus I'm sore cuz Andrew made me go to the gym.

...I have tea and I guess I'm happy.

thats all.

Day after dirt day

2004-08-17T10:12:00.000-06:00

I hung out with Chad yesterday, that was good times. Watched Resident Evil and Underworld, I now understand the buzz.

Today is M and I's day to go to the U and adventure, now just try and figure out my code!
hehe
We're leaving nice and early(sidenoteto marty; this is why you didn't come I didn't wanna call you so early)

Yup, thats about it, I also have to try and get the remainder of my books, that would be a good thing.

Radio stations

2004-08-12T13:00:00.000-06:00

Hey. I'm probably just in one of my ultralistic moods at the moment... but I got an Idea... allright. first of all, i've spent the past 4 hours working things out in my head, and some on paper... I think that if we get together everone that we know, and are half decent people, that is, that full gang. I think we could easily get enought $ to make this a reality. it would be mostly automated, and between me, you, andrew, ben, nathen, jeff, geoff (if he's around), jon, and brent, we would have all the technical ability we would need to pull it off. I'm thinking about sterting up a pirate radio station. i've been thinking about it on and off for quite a while now... i checked all of the official FCC and CBRTC regulations. and it is definatly dooable. as long as we make sure it doesnt interfear with any other stations, leaves a decent clearance for all teh other stations, (at least .8 mgz, we couold pull off 2) and is in part community orientated, we could play all the great stuff that the local stations leave behind... indie rock, brit music, local bands, Local band advertising. Could integrate it with sanguine.pixelalmighty.com and have audio feed uploads from the listners. have public forum. let them send their messages and actually have the voiced on the air. open radio. automated request system from the website. after everything is set up, it is practically zero cost. could get out some decent messages to the public. as for regulations.. anything under 100watt is fair game for community use.. we would be looking at about 20-40 watts. (15-30 miles) so we could cover almost all of sherwood park, and some rural area. and there are many quotable cases of pirate radio being able to broadcast even after FCC or CBRTC inquiry. total set up cost would be about $300 - $500, difinatly in the doable range if we get our people to support it.
So, basically a radio station for sherwood park and area, that pushes for the following
100% pro community
plays local bands' music
has open public forum
plays the stuff the main stations leave behind
throw in some positive activism

i dunno. I think that It could be up and working by late fall or sometime during winter if we actually went for it.

Or maybe I'm just in one of my moods. I would really like to go for this. it could be the project we've been looking for... or not. i would at least like you to think about it before you discount it.

Hugs.

-Marty

MY CD'S!!

2004-08-06T18:18:00.000-06:00

Their missing! In martys house somewhere...in their move
its really sad, and I'm traumatized
I have really no music to listen too...I have some HIM...and some Linkin Park
Sad I know

um...looks like martys family is going to have to get a new car, their old one blew up a few days ago. Ok so there was no fire, but it wouldn't start and she was sad. I drove her to work and then we took it in to the shop...I got some French toast out of the deal so it was alright. Though it kinda wreaked my sleeping in day..getting up at 7:30 can do that to a girl who had planned on getting up at 10. No matter, I was happy to help.

I need a job...
It's kinda crappy cuz it's kinda like no one likes me enough to hire me.

A grand adventure

2004-07-31T21:47:00.000-06:00

Its great. We drive to St.Albert and abduct people. We know them of course...or at least I do.
Bring them back to Sherwood park, treat them to some good old fashion dennys and them take them to a place to sleep. I think this hurts the parents more than anyone else...Probably wondering were their kids went.
don't sleep, nap from 10-11 then drive them back. More of an extreme sport because I haven't' slept for...3 days? minus cat naps of half an hour or so from time to time.
hence the bad grammar and horrendous spelling.
...yes, it was good, and I had fun.
Even though I really didn't talk.

Buy a CD Day!!

2004-07-23T22:40:00.000-06:00

I would squeal like a little girl but not even that would get across just how excited I am about this; my friend bought one of the very best albums ever!! I talked her into it, but it still counts darn it; the new HIM album!!
*jumps up and down, does a little happy dance*
yeah...sorry, for some unseen reason I though the world needed to know that...

Moving Day

2004-07-23T22:33:00.000-06:00

Tommorow is moving day for martys family and I've gotten myself all excited about it.
Not that its going to be much fun...its spossed to be around +30. Lifting boxes and heavy furniture...sounds like a blast!
We're all going to die of heat stroke arent we?
We'll fall down and be fried like eggs on the freshly poured cement of the side walks there...
I know it, I just know it...

I found an awsome card today, I just need to figure out who I would like to send it to...
Snail mail is better than e-mail anyday, and I'm sticking to my guns on that one!

Time for bed, I must be all rested up for the moving.

The boy is beautiful

2004-07-18T11:11:00.000-06:00

Well, the rain came, FINALLY!
thuder lightning, the whole bit.
got thoughly soaked twice, I'm not sure how I managed that yet, but I did.
Walkin gin summer rain is by far one of the best things to do. For your mind and I think your soul. Rain is just so symbolic; cleasing and refreshing. Nothing beats it. No chemical peel will ever come close to the glow a person has after they've been out in the rain.

Today is anime-a-thon day. Time for me to geek it up.
A super duper plus about today though is that I get to see my long lost friend Al, whom I haven't really talked to much as of late and I get to see two mail friends of mine; Eric and Matteo. (o-my, no pun intended there...)
*insert little girl squeel here* I'm so excited!

There really is no better outfit for days like these; 30 above and humid, than a skirt and a Nirvana T-shirt. I don't care if I'm going to the anime-a-thon, I want to wear Nirvana darn it!
I do hope though, that we don't do to much walking cuz I'll be wearing flip flops...this could be bad.

Marty and I saw an...odd thing last night. Standing in the rain watching the lighning we saw a goose. He wasn't flying, not even just sitting down for a rest or to be safe from the weather. Nope, he was walking down the street. A lone goose quite happily waddling down the street. I still don't know what to say about it other then; odd very very odd, and funny!

I hope Al calls me soon to come and pick me up...
I should be calling M.
Off I go to do just that.

hot summer days, and what should be rainy summer nights

2004-07-17T10:54:00.000-06:00

But NO!
fouled again.
3 days of over 25 and no thunder storm during the night. Which means there should be a pretty substantial one coming up here, hopefully anyway.
I love storms.
Its weird though, lately if you watch the clouds during the night you can see the lightning jumping around up there, but no rain yet.
its really to bad...
Today is the celebratory part of M's 18th birthday...I think we're going to dinner or something.
fun all around!

Raving crappulance of the gods

2004-07-14T00:04:00.000-06:00

bah! I think I forgot my cell phone at M's, but I don't know cuz I can't call her its to late and MSN won't let me on.
I ran after her car all the way down my drive way and on to the road screaming for her to stop but she didn't...
I'm so worried cuz I don't know where it is and its brand new...
Though I am not putting this on Cold and Sharp because in a lot of ways its funny, not to me right now but give it a day and it'll be hilarious I'm sure.
*whimper* I want my phone back, and I wish she would have looked back...

Look at the sky

2004-07-13T22:24:00.000-06:00

Went to visit Chad at work today. That was uber fun. We loves Chad, he is great. Did you know!? all plants and shrubs are half off now! How exciting. Chad works at Canadian Tire.
guess what?
Guess what!?
The sky is beautiful at sun set. and rain is coming. then we can walk in the summer rain. and there is nothing better than that.
nothing in the whole wide world and it only gets better when your walking with someone you enjoy.

When I live in Rome I want to have glass ornaments hanging in my window. So that the light can reflect off the pages of my open journals. And I can open my eyes and see all of this...magic happening in my room. But I realize that it happens in my room now also. It's really everywhere. and I figure that's worth sticking around for, right?

The only thing I really want right now that's not here is the safety of his arms around me. Its not the same to just imagine it.

There are photos that need to be developed, anyone serfs DA should check out parkinglotpauper's stuff.

Thanks Marty for going along with that, I know you didn't like the idea very much. and thanks for protecting me, and taking care of me, and just caring.

Desiderata

2004-05-28T10:16:00.000-06:00

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Salsa dancing with my confusion.

2004-05-26T00:02:00.000-06:00

hello world.

well. how about this, it's 12:03, im sitting in the computer room bored out of my mind and quitely wondering what it all is about. i think that i do like the new blogger interface. at the very least it is more pretty to type into. less grey.

Recap
dinner with father was bloody hilarious. love triangle to the extreme. oh the hyperventalation. i do believe he had a minor heartattack. wonderful. then onto my birthday. it was nerdy yet satisfying. i really enjoyed it. got a rather large amount of money. got some pretty awesome presents. i love the brug. love teh whiching ball. i had one of the coffee flavored candies. their not bad, i will try to remeber to bring them tomorrow. (along with the appple juice).

Cathy. dear biting cathy. i know that tomorrow will be increadably tough for you. and i hope and pray that you have the courage and strangth to get through it unscathed, and if you falter, i will try to be there to catch you. like you said to me i think more than a year ago even now. "it's not your fault." it really isn't. what will be will be. you can't change what happened, and i do not understand our obsession of reliving the pain of the past just because we've rotated around the sun once. but I too fall prey to aniversaries. but maybe if we tell ourselves enough times that we can handle it maybe we can. maybe you can, maybe I can.

Marilyn, you are such a beautiful person. you have thrown a large part of what i thought i knew about myself to the wind. stuff i thought i have delt with i realize i have not even looked at in the face. before you many of my demons were but flttery shadows i paid no attention to. but now that you are a part of it, i see that i must deal with my past, and my present.

to both of you, i ask a pause as i be sappy, because im in a sappy mood.
thank you both so much for being my friend and so much more. i love both of you so much it hurts inside. i hope that you can understand that i care for each of you in diffrent, yet ultimatly the same ways. i want to be a shoulder you can rest on, and cry on, and laugh on. and i ask the same from your shoulders. it is comforting to hold on your hands, and wonderful to have you hold onto my hand. i hope that i'm being the person that i need to be for you, because you two are certianally being the people i need you to be. thank you so much for everything you have given me, bot physically, and mentally, and spirtitually.

im sorry for when i say stupid things. and i know i do that sometimes. and i know i do stupid things. and i know that i do those too...

Like you are, im just trying my best. and i hope that for the most part my best is good enough.

Oh don't the days seem lank and long
When all goes right and none goes wrong,
And isn't your life extremely flat
With nothing whatever to grumble at!

I'll see you two tomorrow morning. not sure when you'll read this, sooner than later i hope.
Big cheesy Virtual Bear Hug *HHH-UUU-GGG*

Devil by my side

2004-05-17T10:12:00.000-06:00

My favorite David Usher song right now; Devil by my side. For all those poor souls that I keep on playing this to this will be the last time I'm going to force you to deal with it. The rest of the time it just pops up not of my doing...or is it?...
Any how. I love the lyrics and a few folks in my school will soon be seeing random pieces of paper, which will probably have snippets on them. Marilyn we really do have to get on that cuz I'm excited!
So here are the lyrics, enjoy.

Believe in hope
Believe in fate
Believe in things I can't fight
Believe in truth
Believe in slavery...but it’s only the television kind
Believe that light will find a way
Believe in jets as they blow into the sky
Believe in you
Believe in me and all of these things.

Devils by my side
And the freaks are out
We're in force tonight
And you opened me wide
'Cuz its cold in there
and its warm outside

Believe that hate will never die
Believe in sex and love in a dangerous time
Believe in grace, and your intelligence
Believe in exploring the corners of the mind
Believe your truth is not my truth
Believe that god can exist with many faces at one time
Believe that we will find a way through all of these things

Devils by my side
And the freaks are out
We're in force tonight
And you opened me wide
'Cuz its cold in there
and its warm outside

Believe in hope, believe in faith
Believe in things I can't fight
Believe that somewhere I've seen war…but it’s only the television kind

Devils by my side
And the freaks are out
We're in force tonight
And you opened me wide
'Cuz its cold in there
and its warm outside

Talk when you realize
That you'll never have what you’re trying to find

Are you smiling?

High velocity metamorphysis

2004-05-14T07:23:00.000-06:00

I woke up this morning the happy summer Cathy. It doesn't matter anymore what happens in my dreams or even what’s happening anywhere else (bar Iraq and other war torn areas, as the torture of a human spirit vexes me). This is my brain working again; I think it took a break for a month or so. But back to pleasant repression, I like it damb it, don't tell me that I have to deal with things cuz' I don't wanna.
I'm a child at heart and you can tell by the way I argue; I pout. But hey I think this is the best way to live because everyday is a new adventure (thanks dad for teaching me that). If my plan ultimately fails to end my life before I become depressingly old, I'm looking forward the alsymers; you get to meet new people and tell new stories every single day. Awesome.
My new CD's are getting played relentlessly. I love David Usher. It’s weird because he has depressing lyrics but happy music, which balances out nicely.
Any-who I should be off to school. Yay! People!...and a physics in class assignment...*thud* and a math quiz...O-well
All is well in the land of the Who.

Birth mothers day!?

2004-05-12T11:24:00.000-06:00

Did all you people, the non-existent readers, know that the preverbal 'they' want to create a "Birth Mothers Day". So that all those people that just had the kid can have a day and feel special. What amazing importance to people find in these sanctioned days? Can't they just make one up for themselves and leave the rest of the population that will resent this move alone!? I know I hate the whole idea. Sure I know that some mothers can't keep their kids, that it was the best thing to do. I get that. But why-o-why do they need a day? Won't this just be an awful reminder for them that they don't have their kid and that their not a mother just a birth-mother. I think that would sting. Ulterior motives; my mother doesn't deserve a day. But don't think I haven't though about it for other people, I try to be un-biased about these things.

...Ok this was just a rant...ignore it if you like, so that you may sleep at night in your world of ignorance and no real thought.

That wasn't directed at anybody so you can calm down now...

Baby animals and candy on trees

2004-05-09T23:19:00.000-06:00

BE HAPPY!
*waves hands around & runs away*

1. Walking in summer rain.

2004-05-09T02:45:00.000-06:00

Reasons to Live (some from me. others from the random scattering of cyberspace)

2. Your not alone.
3. Sand in your toes and salt in your hair
4. Knowing you made the right decision
5. Home-brewed sun tea
6. Orange juice
7. Sex in the kitchen
8. Progress
9. Umbrella drinks
10. Cheap sunglasses
11. When you get to say "I Got What I Wanted!" in Go Fish.
12. When you get to say "I Got What I Wanted!" in life.
13. Tomato sandwiches
14. To love and be loved
15. Apple Juice

Organic Gummybears

2004-05-05T10:01:00.000-06:00

Since I've been banned, by martins mother, from refined sugars I have had to find other, more expensive in the long run, alternatives. Those being, today, orgainc gummy bears and dates. Ewwwww. Dates. They make me think I'm throwing up...I'm sure I'm not but thats the texture and taste they posses. They should be outlawed.

It's snowing...maybe it will kill all those bastard leaves on the trees. I wish they would stay dead, but nooooooo they have to live again. I like them when their green and lush but I hate them when their coming back and dieing.

Must think of something earthshatteringly happy to post...
I WON! bwahahahahaha, I was right. Martin and I had a bet going on weather Lex or his mother killed the baby. Smallville refrence if you don't get it yet. I was right. It was the mother, the whole after birth depression thing going on. I win I win I win
OK I'm done now.

Onward to eating things that make me thing I'm throwing up...yum.

Twirling circles with your fingertips

2004-04-20T07:22:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was excellent, went out and took photos with some of my most favorite people in the world, had a blast.

I think one of my wisdome teeth is coming in...the gums there are all soft, its painful to bite down on, so of course I'm constantly working my jaw biting down on it, it feels so nice. I hope that this is not the reason I was so happy last night, I very much doute that. Good fun is better than anything like that. Right?

So much work to do on all this yearbook crap. Peoples grad writeups are all the SAME! I bothers me to no end.

Well I guess I should be off, the bus should be here in 5 minutes or so....
Have a good one folks.

HP=Human Prozac

2004-04-18T18:30:00.000-06:00

I shall not be allown on grad now...hopefully...
Marilyn may be able to come on the cemetary romp with me, and now I am happy for a moment, and thats good enough sometimes.

2004-04-14T21:47:00.000-06:00

But what was the question again?

Everyones is so stressed around here that their all shutting down...ok so I lie. Not everybody, just a few, but that is enough to taint my thoughts. Silence meets questions and comments, rejection fills my heart and head, weighed down with this new version of old pain, the darkness licks at my feet. But I shall kick it off...or at least thats what I'm planning to do...sometimes that has no effect on what actually happens.

I plan to ask a friend tommorow how to butify and perfect this thing you call a blog...it shall be great

Note to readers(if you exist); yes my spelling and grammer are horrid, so plz do not bug me about it, I know I know.

It really truley bothers me when these beautiful people around me critic themselves on problems and imperfections that they do not, by any stretch of the imagination posses...so very frustrating.

I love my cat. He's so cute.
I also love the overwhelming power this gives me! I can write whatever I like...until, that is, I realize that people I know will read this and then bug me about that things I write here...but maybe subconsiously thats exaclty what I want to happen...you never know. At least with a paper journal thingy you can protect and try the sensor who reads it.

I guess I'm just jabbering so off I go...to eat lollypops until my head explodes

2004-04-14T14:38:00.000-06:00

Hey look its my first post.
How mundane...maybe I shall think of something better later
get in on some of the cronic highschool melodrama that keeps on happening around here...

I eat lipstick at night

*mummble mummble*

zoom zoom

Watches? Wallets?...Pleasure?

ow...

The dislocated SPINE!

wheee ooo

A-HA!

I'm just so tired

Mission; MEAT

Something I've never done

ow

mother f*cker

But now who am I going to play wiff?

hu.

Its sad

Some of the things that I want to remember

...I don't ever know

late mornings and never ending nights

Note to self;

Crazy...

work-work-work-work-work

Ear widgets of doom!

I'm just so...

This is what I think of!?

I L-O-V-E this band!

Work

It really is...

Its very complicated

look at me...

So exhausted

...thats too bad

Busy busy

well would you look at that

did you know that...

so busy, makes me head hurt

EAR WIDGETS!

blah blah blah

What feels weird?

Too late

Sicks

Happy Music

ewww, sticky!

Mid-terms

I'M INFECTED!!

Happy puppy kitten!

I'm soooo dangerous

I'm soooo dangerous

*points up at the light bulb going off above her head*

A new journal

Lost

Class

It was going well...

New Years

Yesterday

Christmas(-eve)

thoughts...even though this is not the place for them

Happy days

LOOK! A Mongoos!!

Awake

Project

to find something happy

b-e-n-e-d-i-c-t

DOOM BEE'S!!

Whyte Ave

Good news?

Moving Day!

Happy

Look, I'm in Banff

Day after dirt day

Radio stations

MY CD'S!!

A grand adventure

Buy a CD Day!!

Moving Day

The boy is beautiful

hot summer days, and what should be rainy summer nights

Raving crappulance of the gods

Look at the sky

Desiderata

mummble mummble

points up at the light bulb going off above her head